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Some Things Said… (Oct 05)

A great deception

Recently there have been a few articles on creationism and Darwinism in the press. Some of these have been listed or mentioned in part in the columns that regularly appear here. A casual remark made by President Bush seems to have ignited the keyboards, excited the output meters and an interest from the podiums frequented both by intellectuals and scientists as well as by members of the press, those who support both the theories of spontaneous generation of life and that of evolution.

The phrase I used above: “…the theories of spontaneous generation of life and that of evolution,” is despised by moderns as it reminds them of the unscientific notions that passed for theories concerning how life appeared and which were proffered during the Dark Ages. But that is exactly what the Big Bang theory and its numerous and ponderous offspring, and the theories of evolution are – just modern day equivalents of the theory of spontaneous generation. So, why dont we just call it what it is.

A long time ago, in a galaxy not so far away, some less than clever fellows thought that life generated out of thin air. They would prove this grand speculation by setting raw meat out and then noting that within a few days it would “produce” maggots and flies and then they would offer this as proof that life had indeed appeared spontaneously. This is a little like noting that since all cats have four legs and fir they therefore may be related to polar bears, or for that matter, to dogs or gerbils, all of which exhibit the same.

For better than a century we have had credentialed scientists and the highest intellectuals theorizing again that life just happened. And it is to them a “true fact” that not just life, mind you, but everything surrounding you generated its way out of nothingness and into existence without so much as a vapor of intelligence behind it.

At the outset it is useful to note that an explanation from great minds is always accompanied by many pages of bad writing full of polysyllables and more than a few fabricated (read: non) words; all in strict scientific jargon with massive footnotes overflowing with pointless and meaningless mathematics. But, my intent is to puncture this pretentious foul rot and to expose it for what it is – it is the modern equivalent of a circus sideshow, a mindless childrens fantasy fostered upon the gullible by scheming godless adults.

Here are the basics. Take a deep breath – youre going to need the oxygen. And hold on – there are no air bags on this ride and these folks take this very serious.

There was a huge gaseous explosion (of unknown origin) with a date and cause so distant in time that it cannot be identified at all. From this gaseous bubble and ensuing belch the eventual orbiting systems of the universe were spewed forth and at some point began to set themselves into discernable patterns of composition from out of the initial chaos. Along the way they also began to move in elliptical patterns and eventually were found to be in geometrically perfect alignment with one another and completely symmetrical in form (after a few odd billion years to allow for random collisions and more unregistered mayhem).

During this formative period, as solar systems began to cluster the careening masses aligned with one another through another accident of time and space, and were “found” to be in juxtaposition with a wide number of dissimilar bodies. Due to the greater mass and speed of some of these they were elected the centers of the formative systems – all of this was of course performed randomly and took place before there were paper ballots.

So, in the beginning there were hot lumps, cold and lonely (as The Firesign Theatre had once put it). After a few more odd billion years, some of these hot lumps began to cool and the spherical planetary bodies we know and love were formed. These were still oozing roiling bodies with methane based atmospheres where nothing could properly exist (remember all that gas?).

Hang in there; this is the best part. One day while nothing much was going on in the universe and things were still finding their way from unintelligent chaos to intelligent order (not such a hard stretch to buy into if you spent your formative years smoking pot and reading comic books while watching Star Trek), a floating garbage can sort of mass appropriately named a blastopod decided to form (randomly of course). Now blastopods were masses of glop with nothing but time on their hands, but they just happened to contain some complex carbon chains lollygagging around at the bottom of the mush pile. A meteorite dropped by accidentally and out of the not so clear sky and by chance happened to plow into one of the blastopods, without destroying the mess, that is, and low and behold, it also turned out (by some mean stroke of fate) to have some amino acid molecules conveniently hitching a joyride on it. Sacre Bleu! (as Blackhawks sidekick used to say) now we have the right ingredients to start life, and not at all a minute too soon!

So, the amino acids decided to get together with the complex hydrocarbons and quite by accident and with a little covalent bonding they formed a new molecule called ribonucleic acid while things were still out maturing. From this point, you need to get to an oxygen atmosphere (and no one has ever explained how this was accomplished) but they can do so without hardly thinking about it, even though its the mental equivalent of leaping over the Atlantic Ocean. With all that done it is a positively simple leap of faith to get to active protoplasm and onward to single cell forms. Why, you could do it all in a kitchen without electricity or in the garage.

Gentle reader, if you werent so poorly educated youd know that if you can make ribonucleic acid it shouldnt have taken but another million years or so without a good chemistry set to randomly (again) produce some deoxyribonucleic acid and within another few million years of that or thereabouts, and with some further specious chaos, there would have been multi-celled and variegated life forms sprouting up like weeds in the hedge. After that it wasnt long then (in the whole scheme of things) until the fish grew some legs and put on his walking shoes – ostensibly so that they could get a house on the shore and get out of that very hot water. In no time at all his progeny were off to the trees and the first monkey was sighted. But the great ape fell when a branch broke, and when he hit the ground he learned about running, with the intent of outpacing the large cats – who are his always-hungry cousins. After staying upright long enough to pass a drivers test he became species Homo Sapiens. That all took place in a few billion years, give or take 300 million one way or the other.

And all of that with mighty words and sounds made against anything contrary, as if the party might be spoiled by mere examination. And all without so much as a wink. This is surely the most serious stuff and very scientific too. If it had been thought up by the Three Stooges it would have made a wonderful short. What a hoot!

And the current Chief of State had the gall to suggest that opposing points of view in the origins of life department might offer some merit in examination. Go figure. –Richard Vandagriff

How to Beat Your Wife

MADRID — An imam who wrote a book on how to beat your wife without leaving marks on her body has been ordered by a judge in Spain to study the countrys constitution.

The judge told Mohamed Kamal Mustafa, imam of a mosque in the southern resort of Fuengirola, to spend six months studying three articles of the constitution and the universal declaration of human rights. –as posted at www.littlegreenfootballs.com 09.29.05

The state of education

Will Rogers once said that it was not ignorance that was so bad, but as he put it, “all the things we know that aint so.” Nowhere is that more evident than in American education today, where fashions prevail and evidence is seldom asked for or given. –Thomas Sowell, from his book Black Rednecks and White Liberals.

Wiccan Priestess Loses at High Court

The U.S. Supreme Court today refused to consider a Wiccan priestess’s claim that she was discriminated against when Virginia officials denied her the opportunity to pray before a government meeting.

Cynthia Simpson, a member of the Broom Riders Association, won her original federal lawsuit against officials in Chesterfield County, Va., arguing that she wasn’t given the same opportunity as clergy from more traditional religions, who were invited to open meetings in prayer. The verdict was overturned by the 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals — a decision that will stand in light of the Supreme Court’s refusal to hear the case.

The American Civil Liberties Union, which represented Simpson, claimed her rights were violated because the county “refuses to issue invitations to Native Americans, Hindus, Buddhists, Sikhs, Wiccans, or members of any other religion.”

The county countered that its practice was in line with the Supreme Court’s endorsement of legislative prayer that doesn’t proselytize, advance or disparage a given religion. –from Focus on the Family

Teacher asked to remove religious necklace

A municipally employed teacher in Kristiansand has been prevented from wearing a Star of David around his neck. Kristiansand Adult Education Center, where the man works, ruled that the Jewish symbol could be deemed a provocation towards the many Muslim students at the school, Norwegian Broadcasting (NRK) reports.

Teacher Inge Telhaug said he feels this is a violation of his freedom of speech. “I cant accept this. It is a small star, 16 millimeters (0.6 inches) that I have around my neck, usually under a T-shirt. I see it as my right to wear it,” Telhaug told NRK.

Telhaug teaches immigrants Norwegian language and culture at the education center. Telhaug is not Jewish. “I see it as the oldest religious symbol we have in our culture, because without Judaism there would be no Christianity,” [said] Telhaug.–from www.littlegreenfootballs.com 10.03.05

Article contributed by Richard Vandagriff and Mark Zaveson